


My Heart

by MultiVerSonalityDisorder



Series: Gaakifumi [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Timeline, Coming of Age, Drama, Family, Growing Up, Kazekage - Freeform, M/M, Ninjas - Freeform, Romance, Same-sex, Shinobi, Sunagakure - Freeform, Time Skips, canon AU, child-rearing, my heart, sunagakure-centric, years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5148809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiVerSonalityDisorder/pseuds/MultiVerSonalityDisorder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaara and his lover raise a war-orphan. Mature for violence, death, and sexual themes. GaaraXMale OC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overview

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually a big GaaraXMatsuri fan, but I considered doing a what-if fanfiction. The first post will be an overview of how Gaara and his lover came together and that is in detail in certain areas, and not so much the rest. Every five or so chapters I'll add a bonus chapter that's a more in-detail telling of certain parts of the overview.
> 
> I own nothing but my OCs Akifumi and Kan. Please notify me if it appears I'm writing the characters out of character to an unforgivable extent. Please Read and Review, and thank you for stopping by!

He remembered the first time he laid eyes on this boy. This child that he was warned of being a monster. It was after the first attempt on the boy’s life, and he couldn’t help but think that the younger was a miserable soul. He laughed at himself. Anyone would be miserable if they were being targeted, especially at such a young age.

The son of the Kazekage was four years younger than he was, and he was still just a child himself. He was named a prodigy, but he was curious about this boy who was named “Monstrosity”. He was told that he was to supervise the boy. He was wondering why a demon such as this quiet bundle of flesh would need a bodyguard, but he didn’t question it. He had looked forward to this the moment he was told by his superiors.

“It’s an honor, Gaara-sama. My name is Ayukawa Akifumi,” he gave a bow to the boy as they stood in his room. He was almost amused at how similar their appearances were. Both with dark red hair and sharing blue eyes; while his were a near navy color, Gaara’s was a paler, brighter, softer shade that was almost hypnotizing as they were surrounded by those charming dark rings. The tattoo of “Love” on his forehead stood out, piquing Akifumi’s cruel inquisitive side. He almost wanted to tease the boy.

Gaara said nothing as he avoided looking at Akifumi, his bear close to his chest within his arms to where the preteen found it endearing. The young ANBU straightened, a smile beaming on his features as his long bangs tickled his cheeks, the tips of his hair teasing the back of his neck. However, he was persistently ignored, and the boy went on with his business, quickly implementing a wall between the two of them. Akifumi was intrigued, but not taken aback. He stepped back, remaining by the entrance of the room and didn’t move an inch so long as Gaara decided to remain in the room.

Days passed, weeks passed, and Gaara never said a word to him, as he never pushed to get one. It wasn’t until nearly three months of this reluctant cohabitation did Akifumi truly understand his purpose for being a “supervisor” to this child. Gaara had decided that he wanted to visit the public playground. It was understandable for a child to wish to play outside with others of their own age. Akifumi escorted him, but made sure to stay out of sight.

A part of him was excited, his heart was racing just a tad as he wondered how Gaara got along with other children. He’d never seen a smile on that boy’s face, heard a laugh, nothing of the sort and he found himself deeply fascinated at the prospect. Yet, such a sight did not meet his eyes. The boy was alone with his bear even still, simply rocking on the swing as he observed the boys and girls running around, giggling and hollering. Akifumi felt a tad perplexed, wondering if the children knew of who and what Gaara was.

Then, he felt something. A sudden intent that screamed of ill-will. His eyes caught a glimpse of two boys whispering from a corner of the grounds. They were out of Gaara’s view, but their eyes were on him, one picked up a rock and swiftly Akifumi left his perch atop the roofs of Sunagakure and found himself behind the boys, hand grasped on the one’s wrist and shocking both to where they could do nothing but freeze in place.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Akifumi winked, his grip tightening and making the boy yelp, dropping the rock and in turn Akifumi released him. “You boys better run along. There’s no need for such silly games. Why don’t you aim for being respectable adults one day, yeah?”

There was the mutter of “monsters” from one of them, but the two quickly made themselves scarce. As he turned, ready to return to the shadows, he felt a cold sensation. Dark and chilling, a heavyweight that made him feel dizzy. He tried to locate it, and was surprised to see that it was seeping from Gaara. The boy made no inclination that he was upset or even knew of the boys that had aimed their malicious feelings towards him, but he was no doubt aware.

Now, Akifumi was understanding that his duty was not so much as to protect Gaara, but to keep the beast at peace and protect the citizens of Sunagakure from any folly. Akifumi felt unsettled, it was picking at the underbelly of his innards, and a clenching pressure in his chest. They returned to Gaara’s room, and for the first time since he introduced himself, Akifumi spoke.

“Gaara-sama, would you like to play a game?”

The boy continued his silence. Sitting at his activity table with the bear facing him on top of it, staring at it as if the two were having a contest of sorts. Akifumi chanced a step away from his usual post, but the action wasn’t encouraged in the least.

“Don’t,” Gaara murmured.

Akifumi was surprised. He had never heard this boy’s voice, and the mellow tone struck a chord within him. He attempted to smile, but before he could say a word, he felt that sensation, again. The pressure and isolating chill that was scraping down his spine. He stepped back, his knees and hands shaking, aweing him, frightening him.

That was the last day he was to be overlooking the boy. In the early morning, he had been called back and was informed that there would be someone else in charge of Gaara. He wanted to object, but he knew his place. A substitute was arranged and Akifumi continued with his path as a shinobi of Sunagakure.

It wasn’t until the boy became the Kazekage that they met once more.

“Hello, Gaara-sama,” the teen was beaming, his grin wide and ear-to-ear. He stood in front of the newly appointed Kazekage, in front of his desk in the middle of his office. His hair had grown out if only slightly; still unruly with random curls in odd places as his mane barely reached his shoulders. He no longer donned the ANBU attire, as he simply wore an olive shaded long sleeved shirt with a light brown open vest atop and a matching headband tied with the plate on the right side of his head. He wore cargo pants, a dark shade of green compared to his top that were tucked into black open-toed boots. He had two cerulean studs on his right ear, one on his left, and a black choker buckled about his neck.

Gaara examined him, an invisible brow rising, “You are?”

The young man chuckled, “I didn’t think you’d remember. My name is Ayukawa Akifumi. I was once in your care years ago.”

“I…” the Kazekage blinked. “I see…my apologies, I don’t quite…”

Akifumi held a hand up, “It’s fine. The past isn’t important. But, I’m happy.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because,” the older teen’s face went soft, his eyes holding a glitter of something that Gaara felt familiar with; something he might have seen in Naruto’s eyes. “I’m glad, it feels as though you’re less burdened. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.”

Almost instantly, Gaara felt heat rise to his cheeks. This young man who was no more than a stranger to him, despite his claims of having met previously, was saying something so outspoken, so straightforward and personal it was…to say the least…embarrassing. While it was true that he felt a bit lighter, as if hope was a dearly estranged friend that found its way back to his side; it was disconcerting for this person to relay that even on the outside it was obvious of his new perspectives thanks to Naruto bringing him to his senses.

Gaara’s eyes fell to his desk for a second before back to the overly pleased teen before him, “A-Ayukawa-san, what is it that you came here for?”

“Gaara-sama, I was hoping to put in a request. I’m sure looking at my records, I’d be more than capable, but if I may be so bold I would like to be by your side. I would like to stand by the you who is the Kazekage. I want to be your support.”

The younger red-head could feel the heat rising, feeling moisture build upon the nape of his neck as his hands itched and twitched atop his papers. “I-I’m sorry, but such a request…I would have to…”

“If it’s something that needs time to be thought on, then time I’m willing to spare. I only hope that you can easily find the best conclusion.”

Akifumi dismissed himself, leaving the Kazekage in a state of distress. It was no doubt odd, and he off-handedly mentioned it to his brother and sister when they came in to check on him later that night, as they often did when he worked late. Kankuro had burst out in laughter, creating a feint pink in Gaara’s complexion. Temari was simply bewildered. They inquired as to who the young man was, and to the boy’s surprise, his siblings knew very well of this “Ayukawa Akifumi”.

“I’ve worked with him a few times,” Kankuro rubbed at his chin as he sat himself on a corner of his brother’s desk. “He was always odd, and he’s hard to read. You can’t tell if he’s trying to pull a fast one or simply being honest. I mean, no one is stupid enough to always say what’s on their mind. That’d be a true idiot.”

Temari crossed her arms, standing in front of the desk and cocking a brow at her brother, “He’s known as some sort of ‘prodigy’ if you can believe it. He became an ANBU at the age of ten. For years he was in the elite corps, but the past year he resigned to simply being a jounin. His sudden interest in you, however, is unsettling.”

“Lay off it, Temari,” Kankuro snickered. “I mean, Ayukawa is...well…y’know…” He rolled his shoulders in a backwards rotation as he arched his back. “While his intentions concern me, Gaara will be more than capable in handling things if such a situation were to arise.”

At this, Gaara became rather befuddled by his brother’s words, “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean,” Kankuro smirked, “the guy is known for having his way with anything that walks. Man, woman, it doesn’t matter. He’ll sleep with it. You, baby brother, better watch out for him if you decide to take him on. I’m not saying he isn’t good at his job. He’s fucking excellent, but he has a reputation for a reason. Just be careful.”

Gaara took in his brother’s words, but a part of him wasn’t worried. After all, when had anyone displayed any romantic or physical interest in him? It was preposterous. After a week of deliberation, Gaara had sent for Akifumi, and the young man reported back to him with such an air of confidence that Gaara’s tongue began to feel unbelievably dry.

“You’ve come to a decision, Gaara-sama?” his lips were upturned in pleasure and for a moment the Kazekage felt annoyed at the thought of playing into his hands.

He released a cough, straightening his back and looking Akifumi dead in the eyes, “I will after you answer my question.”

“Oh?” the older teen was instantly amused. “All right, any question I’ll gladly answer for you.”

“Well then, it has come to my attention as I was looking into your background that you have a reputation of sorts.”

“That would be correct. All the rumours you’ve probably heard are more than likely true. I’ll take anyone to bed regardless of sex, and I never sleep with the same person twice.”

Gaara wasn’t sure if he should admire his honesty on such a subject, but he was not so much a child that he could look at someone with shame for doing what they pleased in their spare time. “My apologies if it seems as if I’m putting you on the spot, but I have to take into consideration your sudden interest in my title,” Gaara pushed through his words, his heart skipping a bit. “I don’t believe myself to be a narcissist in any way, but if your intentions on staying by my side, staying by the Kazekage’s side, are based on ill-intentions to take me to bed, then that’s something I can’t overlook.”

At first, Akifumi merely snorted before he keeled over, holding his stomach in laughter so boisterous that Gaara’s eyes widened, and the bridge of his nose turned crimson. Trying to straighten his back, Akifumi wiped away a few stray tears at the corners of his eyes as he wheezed, “I’m so sorry, Gaara-sama. I believe I’ve left you with a misunderstanding.” He released a long breath, shoulders slouching momentarily before raising his head. “You see, those I’ve been intimate with are friends of mine, of at least a year. To be quite honest, I’m on a search for my soulmate. I believe it’s important for not just an emotional and psychological connection to be strong, but also a physical connection. Once I’ve accomplished the first two with someone who is close to me, the last test is to bed them. If they aren’t my soul mate, then I will not sleep with them a second time. My aim is not to be a lustful dog, but I think in its own right it is more pure than what many others have in mind. So, Gaara-sama, you are not someone I aim for in that connotation. Taking you to bed has never once crossed my mind, if you believe me.”

“A-Ah,” Gaara felt his mind go blank. He was trying to take in everything that the older teen had said. He attempted a polite smile that only came out nervous and unsure. He felt relieved by Akifumi’s answer, but a mixture of guilt and disappointment. Guilt for having doubts and prying into another’s personal life. Disappointment…he wasn’t even sure why.

It was settled that Akifumi would work about the tower and such as Gaara’s personal assistant. However, it was agreed upon that Akifumi would also be taking part in assignments of high priority. Gaara and his council would not accept a high level shinobi to be reduced as a secretary, especially if it was a deciding factor in the country’s success. Over a year passed and while the two weren’t particularly close, it became almost natural for Akifumi to address the Kazekage as “Gaara-kun” in private; though Gaara continued to address him as Ayukawa. Occasionally, Akifumi would make a joke that would earn himself a chuckle from his lord.

He would often bring a home-cooked meal for the overworked teen. On some nights, however, he would request for leave. Gaara never asked why, and he didn’t have to when the following day he’d catch a glimpse of a shy hickey peeking from beneath the collar of Akifumi’s shirt.

There was a change in their relationship after Gaara was no longer a Jinchuuriki.

The week before Gaara had been taken, Akifumi was on a recon mission. In an underground tunnel beneath a shrine that was under investigation, one of his team members had accidentally tripped up a trap. Akifumi was the leader of the squad, and once he sensed it he immediately ordered everyone to abort, making sure that no one was left behind, he was the last one out and was caught in the explosion. He ended up in critical condition, and was unconscious until the day of Gaara’s kidnapping. He had shouted, hollered, doing his best to move his body to push through the nurses that tried to hold him back, and in the end he had to be sedated.

Upon returning to Sunagakure, Gaara hadn’t heard of the incident when he inquired to his attendant’s health, instead he was informed that Akifumi had awakened but still needed much time to heal. After the funeral service and seeing Naruto and the others off, Gaara changed into his casual attire and soon found himself in the hospital room of Ayukawa Akifumi. Sitting at his bedside as the now twenty year old was fast asleep. Scratches on his face, stitches on his chin and up the right side of his jaw were all he could see, but he knew there were more. Gaara hadn’t had a moment to visit him, and a part of him regretted it. What if Chiyo had not sacrificed her life for his?

A nurse walked in, immediately freezing at the sight of the young red-haired lord. “I-I’m sorry, Kazekage-sama, I didn’t know…” her voice trailed and just as she was about to leave, Gaara stopped her.

“It’s fine,” his voice was soft, expression holding just a tint of sentimentality. “I must be in the way.”

“Oh no!” her eyes glanced over to the sleeping man. “I was only checking in on him. Sometimes he tries to get out of bed if we don’t know he’s woken up.”

Gaara’s brow heightened at the information, “He’s been causing trouble?”

The young nurse peeked through the door into the busy hall before slowly and softly closing it. She looked to Gaara with pink dusting her cheeks as she smiled, “When he heard about what happened, he tried his hardest to leave. His body wasn’t up to it, but he kept screaming and shouting, calling out for you, it was really amazing. We couldn’t settle him down on our own, so we had to sedate him.” Her round brown eyes turned to Akifumi, “Ayukawa-san was very worried about you. I’m sure he won’t calm down until he sees you safe with his own eyes.”

When she looked back to Gaara her face flushed with a deep shade of red. Gaara’s cheeks were speckled pink, and though his eyes were wide with astonishment, they gazed at Akifumi so softly that an unsuitable aura had formed around the pair. “I-I’ll leave you two alone now,” she stammered, not even waiting for any response from the Kazekage as she slipped back out of the room.

The young woman’s words echoed throughout Gaara’s ears. Yes, he would have regretted it if he had passed. While it was obvious when he awoke to all those around him that he was now accepted by his village, by his people, this felt different. Akifumi had always been by his side since the time he had met him. Met him… Gaara was suddenly reminded by what the man had said when he first stepped into his office.

That they had met before. That he had been in Gaara’s care years before. Yet, he couldn’t remember a thing. He wanted to, but at the time he didn’t find it important to even try to remember the faces of those he came into contact with as a child. It only hurt him, he had given up.

One more thing he regretted. If he had taken care to remember then... What happened to influence Akifumi to be here today?

“Gaara…sama…?”

The Kazekage snapped out of his thoughts, taking in the sight before him as his soft blue eyes met a darker pair, bewildered brows shot up as Akifumi gaped. “A-Ayukawa,” Gaara choked on the man’s name. He attempted to smile, “Good afternoon.”

“G-Good…” Akifumi struggled to sit up in his bed.

“Ayukawa!” Gaara felt his hand move to restrain the older red-haired male, but he forced it back into his lap. “Please, lie down,” he tried to be stern with his words, but his voice was unsteady.

Akifumi chuckled as he winced, “I can’t…” he slumped forward, releasing a harsh breath as his palms supported his upper body, arms quivering from the stress as his fingers tightly curled into the sheets. “Gaara-sama, you’re…all right, now?”

The teen’s lips curled into a frown, “I am, but you’re not. Ayukawa, rest.”

“Later,” he half-smirked, “I need to…first…” He reached out his right hand towards Gaara, however there still wasn’t the strength needed in his left hand and he slipped.

Gaara shot out of his seat, stretching his arm out to catch the man at the chest, his free hand resting on Akifumi’s back, his flesh absorbing the tremors in the man’s body. As he sat him back up, Gaara froze when tears streamed down his assistant’s eyes. “Ayukawa,” he slowly eased the other down onto his back, “are you all right? Should I call for a nurse?”

As the back of his head hit the pillow, one of his trembling hands caught Gaara’s wrist. He smiled softly, as the tears continued, “I’m fine. You…” his grip slipped to loosely embrace the younger’s hand, the fingertips cold as his own were scabbed over, “You’re here. I’m so sorry. I should have-”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” Gaara murmured, his head ducking down but his eyes on their joined fingers.

Suddenly, Akifumi’s brows furrowed, his tears had slowly diminished, but his bottom lip was shaking, “Are you saying I’m not fit-?”

“No,” the younger shook his head. “I’m saying…these people were different. With how you are…towards me…they wouldn’t have stopped until you were dead.”

“G-Gaara-sama…” Akifumi blinked at the words, then he felt it. Something was different about his lord. “You’re chakra…it’s…”

The Kazekage sighed, “I no longer possess the Ichibi.”

The man’s hand began to shake furiously, “I-I’m so sorry. Gaara-sama, I…”

Gaara attempted a smile, tightening his fingers around Akifumi’s in comfort, “Whether it’s something I’m elated over or something I dread, I’m still uncertain. That, however, is not something that I wish to discuss. I’m just glad that you are alive and are recovering. Stop giving the nurses and doctors a hard time. Listen to them, and return to my office quickly. Understand?”

Akifumi nodded, the corners of his mouth turning upright as he tugged down on Gaara’s hand, and the teen unconsciously followed, leaning over as his eyes kept with the older male’s. “Welcome back, Gaara-kun,” he whispered, and before Gaara could reply, Akifumi rose his head, slipping back onto his left elbow to raise himself higher, and pressed his lips to his lord’s. It was brief, as Gaara’s eyes shot open in shock, instantly pulling away and ripping himself from Akifumi’s grip. His face bloomed into a shade of maroon as his whole body visibly trembled. One of his hands covering his mouth as a tear threatened the corner of his eye.

Akifumi’s body dropped back down to the bed, his clear eyes staring straight at the boy beside him. Unable to bear his gaze, Gaara turned swiftly on his heel, opening the door and scurrying out, slamming the door behind him.

Gaara never returned to the hospital, and Akifumi never made a fuss about it. Another week went by before the jounin was released. Immediately, he reported to the Kazekage building and was not surprised to see that Temari was standing outside of her brother’s door.

“Temari-san-”

“I looked into your release date,” she crossed her arms with a scowl on her lips. Her voice was the epitome of furious, even as she spoke softly so no one but they could hear her words. “I’ll tell you this once: I don’t know what you said or did to Gaara, but he hasn’t been the same since he went to visit you in the hospital. I don’t even want you in this building right now, but if you can make amends with my brother, then I might not have to kill you. Understand?”

Akifumi sighed, saying nothing as he bobbed his head in acknowledgement to her words. She huffed, stepping aside and allowing him entrance into the Kazekage office.

“Yes?” Gaara had been in the middle of scribing on a document when he heard the door open and close. When he got no response, he glanced up. His eyes widened as his back became erect. He set his writing utensil down, as his jaw set. Akifumi took a step forward, and was immediately met with the word, “Don’t.”

The jounin took in a sharp inhale, keeping shoulders straight as he spoke, “Gaara-kun, will you hear me out?”

“You said you didn’t come to my side with those intentions.”

“I never did.”

“Then…” Gaara’s eyes fell. “I’m not some toy for you to play with.”

“I would never!” Akifumi shouted, gaining back the gaze of the young Kazekage. Both of the blue-eyed red-heads had flushed cheeks and swollen eyes. Both were upset by what had taken place a week earlier. Both were hurt by the other and themselves. Damning it all, Akifumi made his way across the room, Gaara biting his bottom lip as he refrained from ordering the man to halt. He stopped in front of the younger’s desk, scowling.

“I never came to you with any sort of intention. All I wanted,” his fists clenched. “All I had thought of back then was to be someone who could be useful to you.” Akifumi’s eyes crawled about Gaara’s posture, his expression, and he could see just how tense the teen was. “I had only known you for three months when you were a child. We never exchanged a single word, but for three months I looked after you. As soon as I tried to befriend you, I was removed from my post. At first, I was all right with it. You were just a child.

"Some boy who was the son of the Kazekage. I had other things to take care of. I was an ANBU, I had no time for games. But, it wasn’t long before you would cross my mind. I wondered how you were doing. I wondered if you finally decided to smile. I was worrying about you.

“When I heard the news of your appointment as Kazekage, I was thrilled and terrified. I was wondering constantly as to whether or not it was something you wanted. I was worried you weren’t happy. So, I came here. I was elated to see that you were no longer in this heavy atmosphere that you had as a child. You could finally smile and hold a conversation. I wanted to become your friend.”

Pausing, Akifumi gave a meek chuckle, “But, to me, you became something more. For a while, I was happy that I could gain your friendship. You started to let your guard down around me, but I became selfish. I started… Gaara-kun, you’re someone special to me. Whether it’s love or not, I don’t know. After these few years of being by your side, I can’t imagine anything happening to you, and I would never hurt you. Never intentionally.”

“When,” Gaara’s voice was rough, his eyes down as his hands were clasped together, trembling like the day at the hospital. “When you say things like ‘love’…are you…considering me as a possible soulmate? Are you…going to want to sleep with me?”

“To be honest…I don’t know,” the man gripped the edge of the desk, allowing himself to lean forward just a bit as Gaara eyed him warily. “You’re special to me, but I’m not sure if I look at you in that way. I love you, but I’m not sure what sort of love that is. I…haven’t been intimate with any one in six months, because I can’t stomach the thought of touching another. I kissed you, because I was so happy you came back to me alive that I thought my heart was going to burst. I never meant anything untoward when I did so. At this moment in time, I could never conceive the thought to ask you to go to bed with me. However, now that we’re having this discussion…I suppose I wouldn’t feel right becoming intimate with you unless you wanted me to. Unless you were the one to come forward and ask me.”

Gaara’s chest puffed up as he inhaled, his eyes desperately keeping contact with the man in front of him, not wanting to bow down. His cheeks were aflame, and his throat dry. Akifumi gently gripped the Kazekage’s chin, tilting it upwards in the slightest to have full view of the teen. His eyes were burning and his voice soft as he inquired, “Gaara-kun, what is it that you think of me? What am I to you?”

The teen’s mouth opened instantly, but nothing came of it. It closed, opened once more, closed yet again, and finally his quivering lips produced speech, “I…I don’t know…” He could feel Akifumi’s thumb caressing his chin, his skin tingling, “You’re…also someone precious to me… If I had known that you were having a fit, I would have come earlier. If…If I knew there was a chance that I didn’t make it back here alive, I…would have regretted never coming to see you once. I…was terrible to you…I…”

With both hands, Akifumi took hold of Gaara’s warm cheeks tentatively before pressing his lips to the youth’s. Once more, Gaara pulled away with a cry, but Akifumi pursued a bit more forcefully and this time Gaara did not resist. The boy sighed as his eyes closed, his hands trembling in a loose grip on Akifumi’s wrists, his heart racing so hard he thought it would cease all functioning.

When Akifumi pulled back, Gaara’s breath immediately filled his lungs, he was puffing air as his eyes drooped from the sensation of being lightheaded. Akifumi took his smaller hands within his own as he rested his forehead against Gaara’s. The boy made a grunt of confusion, and Akifumi chuckled, “Gaara-kun, we can do this slowly. We’ll figure each other out step by step, day by day. We’ll come to a conclusion sooner or later. For now, though, we can continue with how we were. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I…” With his mind in a fog, Gaara couldn’t think of what else to say. He knew what he wanted to tell Akifumi, but the words were jumbling all inside of his head in various order that he couldn’t make out. He settled with a quiet nod, and Akifumi beamed as he placed a swift kiss to the top of the boy’s head.

The rest of their day slowly returned to normal. Gaara’s paperwork was caught up, and Akifumi helped him organize and stay fed. Closing up for the night, Akifumi joined Gaara on his way to his residence, the two said their farewells; albeit shyly; and Akifumi left after placing a chaste kiss to the teen’s cheek. Time continued. The average day began to consist of a good morning kiss, paperwork, and a kiss goodnight. The better days, Akifumi could get away with a bit of flirting that Gaara was reluctant, but willing, to respond to. After months, Akifumi allowed himself the right to refer to the Kazekage as “Gaara-chan”.

During one of the teen’s breaks, Akifumi sat the boy down and tried to coax him into calling him by his given name. Gaara objected profusely, saying it wasn’t something he felt comfortable with. However, Akifumi admitted to being jealous, as Gaara would refer to Uzumaki Naruto by his given name. Gaara couldn’t believe his ears. He didn’t want Akifumi to be jealous, but hearing such a confession caused a warm sensation within his chest. It took three attempts before Gaara successfully called to “Akifumi” without hesitation or biting his tongue. In private, they would refer to each other as such, but in front of others they remained professional.

When Temari and Kankuro were off on a mission or busy elsewhere, Akifumi would spend the night (or two) with Gaara at the Kazekage residence. Akifumi would make a light dinner for the two of them, and they would relax for the night. They would talk more about themselves, each other, their families, their interests. It felt strange to Gaara, as compared to Akifumi he had so little to share, but Akifumi only grinned saying that he would love to give Gaara so much more. Introduce him to different things, different people, and Gaara felt a little excited at the prospect. Most nights, Akifumi would sleep in a separate room, some he would share Gaara’s room, but sleep on a spare futon on the floor. On the nights in which either had a bad day, or they fought that evening Akifumi would share Gaara’s bed.

They never did more than kiss, though Gaara was becoming very familiar with a certain pressure against his thigh when it was becoming too much for Akifumi. The jounin kept to his word and never asked Gaara if he wanted to go further. When the teen appeared to be done kissing for the night, Akifumi would excuse himself and finish in the bathroom and he wouldn’t step back into Gaara’s bedroom until the younger sought him out; always finding him in the kitchen with a cup of tea. As time went on, Gaara began to feel a bit guilty. Akifumi clearly treasured him, and he clearly treasured Akifumi.

For a period of time, Gaara was unsure as to why Akifumi would never try to go further with him. He was starting to feel guilty, but it occurred to him that he wasn’t sure why he felt that way. Did he want to give Akifumi what he believed he wanted to make the other man happy, because it would in turn make the Kazekage elated? Or, was he feeling guilty towards himself for wanting more from the other when it appeared that perhaps Akifumi wanted to stay where they were? It was a fickle thing. To the point in which Gaara began to avoid Akifumi outside of the office, even when Gaara was alone at night. It worried the other, and within two weeks, Akifumi confronted the younger shinobi. Was he upset with Akifumi? Did Akifumi push too much with being physical? Was he becoming _bored_ of Akifumi? He sputtered these thoughts outside of the younger’s home until he was dragged in by the front of his collar. The door was slammed closed behind him and before him was a cherry-faced, teary-eyed Kazekage looking up as his much smaller fists bunched atop Akifumi’s chest within his shirt.

“G-Gaara-chan…” he softly placed his hands atop the teen’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Briefly biting his lip, Gaara’s brows were trembling as his voice quivered beneath his whispers, “I-I…I’m sorry.” He blinked a few times to ward off the oncoming tears. “I don’t hate you. I’m mad…mad at myself…”

Akifumi rose a brow, “Whatever for?”

Pale hands clutched tighter onto the green shirt, “I didn’t know…how to ask you…”

“Ask me what?” He ducked his head down, but Gaara threw his face into the man’s chest. Avoiding his eyes. “Gaara-chan?”

“When we…kiss…” the boy’s words were muffled, but Akifumi could luckily still make them out without much trouble. “You always stop…but…I’m mad at myself…because I don’t know how to ask you…how to ask you to touch me more…”

Akifumi felt his heart skip. His ears began to ring for a moment, his head light like a feather as his cheeks flushed red, brows shooting up and his mouth going dry as he tried to think of any words.

“I was afraid,” the Kazekage continued, “that you wouldn’t want…to…”

“Gaara-chan, no,” he cooed, gently pulling the teen away from his person. He smiled softly, looking into his pale blue eyes, “Gaara-chan, I love you. I…I wanted you to be ready and sure that you wanted me to continue. I wanted this to be your decision. Not mine.”

The tips of his ears a pale shade of rose, Gaara’s brows furrowed as he murmured and his eyes fell, “Well…I….I’ve decided…I want you  to touch me more and…I…want to touch…you….” The last word died on his lips as he turned his eyes to their feet. Shoulders shaking, Akifumi couldn’t do anything but embrace the teen tightly. A foolish grin on his face as he hummed in his throat, and Gaara was given the gift of the sound of Akifumi’s racing heart in his ear.

That night they did not become one, but when they awoke the next morning in Gaara’s bed they were much closer than ever before. Gaara was more comfortable, more open. It was as delightful of a sight as it was odd for outsiders. When Temari caught the way her brother smiled and even laughed as he spoke with Akifumi in the office, she addressed it one night while the two of them had a moment to themselves. Without Akifumi there, Gaara found it hard to speak to his sister about his relationship with the older shinobi, but in the end he found his courage and simply told Temari that he loved Akifumi. Though, still had not said those words to the man himself. Temari was astonished, and instantly felt rage over the thought that a playboy would toy with her baby brother.

But, Gaara was quick to calm her temper. He told her that everything was by his own choice, and that his feelings were never forced or coerced by the jounin. It took nearly an hour, but when Temari accepted the sincerity in her brother’s eyes, she calmed. Though, still wary, she inquired as to whether or not Akifumi had attempted to sleep with Gaara. Her immediate answer was a maroon-faced Kazekage’s mutter of, “None of your business.” With her own chuckle, she left it at that. Holding her brother and placing a kiss atop his head, she realized how time was flying and how soon the youngest of them all would be a great man.

When the threat of Akatsuki became too real, there was a call for all of the Kage to meet. Immediately, Akifumi insisted that he accompany Gaara. The suggestion was rejected. Gaara needed someone to take care of the village as his siblings would accompany him. There was no one he could trust more to take care of Sunagakure while he was away than Akifumi. Upset but obedient, Akifumi stayed behind to oversee their home. When Gaara returned, the jounin swept the young man into his arms, earning a disgruntled huff from Temari and curious brows from Kankuro.

Gaara took a brave step with his siblings and requested that he have their home to himself for the night. Kankuro teased, but Gaara asserted that he only wanted to take the night to discuss the summit with Akifumi privately. After dinner, the two found themselves atop the covers of Gaara’s bed, Akifumi lying on his back as the younger curled on his side and rested his head atop his chest, enjoying the way the older shinobi’s fingers softly caressed his hair. Gaara almost fell asleep when he heard the other’s inquiry as to how the meeting went. When Akifumi learned of the dangers that Gaara faced while he was there, and with the information he was given of the new wave of war, Akifumi did the only thing he could do: Take Gaara to bed.

With the wear and tear to the Kazekage’s body, the two kept their distance to focus on the upcoming war. It was difficult, but once again Akifumi found himself to be in charge of a unit in which he would have to be separated from his lover. With luck, the two were able to see the end of this short war alive and minimally damaged. Akifumi found himself with a broken arm, but it was quick to heal.

But, this is where we come to the focus of our story. The story of how a young boy named Kan came into the life of Akifumi and Gaara and helped unite them as a family.

**-Overview End**


	2. Chapter One: Come, Stop Your Crying

A year after the war, the shinobi villages constantly were at work to maintain the massive union. However, many smaller villages that were against the continued support from and supporting of other countries were defecting and acts of terrorism were sprouting out through the lands near the major capitals. Akifumi and his team had been out, a five hundred mile radius from Sunagakure, to assist any crippled habitations while trying to nab those who were suspect to the heinous crime. It was more than a handful, and any leads were scarce. Those who were victim to losing their homes were too frightened to speak against anyone or any group. That day, however, the squad was heading back home after nearly a month away. They were a hundred miles out when several massive explosions caught their eyes.

The ground shook and they quickly made their way to a small village that was key to artisan trades. Buildings were in shambles, screaming, smoke and sand everywhere. There were sobs, moans, groans, and ash that stung at their eyes. They were fast to move. Two members of the team were medic-nins and were swift in their aid. Meanwhile, Akifumi and his other team member, Kusukawa, were digging through the rubble for bodies. After mere minutes, they were covered in dirt, and blood was at their fingertips as it scraped against the fractured rock.

Tears were streaming down their eyes as they didn’t dare waste a second to apply their protective goggles. Through the screams and mourning, Akifumi almost didn’t hear it, but it was a whimper. Muffled. He dug deeper, throwing aside what he could until he found the source. A young boy. Deep red hair clinging to his tanned features as grime was caked on him. He was curled defensively around and within the arms of an elderly woman who had ceased all breathing.

His face was covered in scratches, and tears were running down his clenched eyes. Akifumi reached in, carefully unlatching the boy from the woman and was met with retaliation. Attempts at scratching was the child’s defense, but the shinobi didn’t waver. And, by the time he freed the boy from the corpse, he found that the boy resorted to teeth. As the man held him close, supporting his weight against his hip, teeth worked at his shoulder, though he felt little through the padding of his vest. He sighed, but let the child fight as soon he was overcome with sobs, and hands clutched into his sides, trembling. Akifumi called out to his comrades, and they were able to set up a small medical tent as they waited for the backup Kusukawa sent word for to arrive.

Several units came, the medical professionals more or less shoved Akifumi and his men to the side. Every body was counted and respectfully aligned with cloth to keep them from the burning sun, while those who lived were tended to. When the medics approached the boy in Akifumi’s arms, the child refused to release the man. Speaking softly, Akifumi sat him down on the medic-bed, but the small hand kept to his sleeve. The medic didn’t bother to dally any longer and worked his way around it. The boy was fine physically, but was still in shock; as expected. Akifumi thanked the doctor, and stood beside where the boy sat.

He now noticed fuchsia-shaded eyes that were surrounded by dry streaks of tears. Beautiful eyes, but empty eyes.

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
